Chestnuts were raining on my head in Kew Gardens, as a flock of green parrots swooped through the trees and shook them to the ground.

That's life in the suburbs ...

(You couldn't make it up.)

I shall have to roast them or I shall feel guilty for depriving the squirrels.

I thought about trying to make chestnut flour but it sounds more trouble than it is worth.

But chestnuts roasting in a gas oven ...?

It simply doesn't sound quite right.