And refused to flip
And broke up in the pan;
If you dropped the lemon quarters
Into the batter
(And no, that's never happened before).
If the second batch was even worse than the first
But you ate them anyway.
Because why waste them
When they could sit on your hips for the rest of the year?
If you said some rude words
That you didn't learn from Mary Berry
(Although you might have picked them up from Gordon Ramsay).
You could always join me
In giving up cooking. For Lent.